Thursday, May 5, 2011 @ 3:52 PM
O.O k i know that picture damn old already but well, i think i just played that game 1 month and 2 weeks ago. I admitted i lost the game 3 days ago but oh well, i was lucky to be smarter this year not like last year. :) So, i protected my heart and lucky enough, when something tried to hurt my heart, something block it and i felt nothing :)
Lucky enough, within the 1 month and 2 weeks, i kept on telling myself that a jerk will always be a jerk. Even though a part of me still hopes he'll change but now, i can see that what i hoped for will never happen. Someone told me that he didnt believe when people said that i was together with that particular guy because he knows that deep down, im still didn't get over the thing that happened last year. He was right. I didn't get over it. Everytime i thought of him, that bad memories appeared. Especially now that when im mad at him. Every feeling came back. The hatred. The heart ache i recieved from him. I felt it all over again and it made me hate him. For the first month, when i thought he did changed i was wrong. Now that i think about it, all of this was just a repeat of last year just that i was smarter now. Thought of walking away from him yesterday and hoped that today he'd do something to make me not to but instead, he finalized my decision to walk away.
I thought we could last being best friends once again, like how we used to before.
I thought is better this way. I was wrong.
I kept on telling myself not to fall into your tricks of getting me back so that i wont get hurt once again from you.
As days pass, we got closer. In others eyes, we were a couple.
I admit, we do look like one. Our actions and everything.
Everything was per normal until i went away for 4 days.
Within these 4 days, i realised i missed you. That was when i know i lost the game. :)
But isn't it sad that whenever i finally know what i felt you come and do bullshit stuffs on me?
Well, im not weak like before.
Before you walk away from me and dump me one side, im doing it first.
I'm not going to let you do what you did to me before to happen again. Get it?
Please use your brain if you're going to come back chasing after me again. You should know i dont really forgive people easily. Especially if its you. Right? :)
Bye ♥
Wednesday, May 4, 2011 @ 7:18 PM
o____o My blog is officially, DEAD. ;x
Many things happened lately o.o Today first day of exams and im already tired of it. Suddenly all the motivation for me to study just KABOOM :/ idk why. ok partly i know why but i just dont accept that reason -_- Haven't study ss yet :( tmr ss and maths. and im not studying. wtfuck o_o k shall force myself to study later hais. -good girl- Ok one fat ass is sucha bitch right now :/ promised myself to help him all the way until he's at his right path but i gave up today. i think. o.o Until now never call or msg me nbcb. -'- SHALL IGNORE YOU ): till idk when ): hehe k fake. ;x :D
Anyway, a random story about a stupid girl who is damn selfish towards a thing called love. And when she's in it, she only think about herself. But, i dont blame her. Is cause of what the people around her did to her before that she became like this. She was selfish towards this particular guy because of what he did, but within the 1 month with him everyday, i think she fell in love all over again ? but isn't it sad that she forces herself to not like him every day and every second so that her heart wouldn't be broken again by him? When she finally accepts the fact that she likes him, he became a total bitch towards her. Such a jerk. But on the bright side, at least she was prepared for it. So, her heart didn't feel any sharp knife stabbing into her heart. :D Goes to show that this particular girl learnt her mistakes from the past. (:
k im bored. cause of azuin just now on that song now i think it affected my brain and i seriously don't feel like doing anything ): roar! k byeeeeeeeeeeees!
